I am still in my recovery mode this week, so every action I did was slowing down. Even though I hurried again because of my habitual behaviors, my body had to tell me to go slow immediately. Then, along with my “body reminder” repeatedly, I became slower and slower day by day. Last Saturday morning, I spent 3 hours making and taking the brunch which was extremely slower than my usual pace. In fact, I did not notice the time, instead, I was so focused on my brunch process. When I finished all dishes cleaning and sit down on the couch, I suddenly realized “Ah, this is Truth in Action”! While I am so present with one action in terms of my body requirement, this is truth in action. In other words, I act with my body, breath, feelings, and sensations synchronously, this is truth in action. The practice from daily life made me see how rush I was before the surgery. Though I felt I have had much more improvement for slowing down, I still have a big space to progress.
The pace of the entire environment where I live makes people hurry and tense imperceptibly. Even if I always remind myself of slowing down, I am still affected by people and things around me. In other words, I still am affected by disturbance and cannot totally stabilize myself. Then, I investigated the underneath of the unstable feeling and realized it was from my mistrust. I mistrusted that I have already done my best just because I did not see the results I expected which also means I cling to the results without any awareness. Therefore, it caused a loop: I did not see the results I expected -> I made much more effort than last time -> got another result which I was not satisfied with it -> made another stronger effort… I was trapped in my trap without hearing any truthful voice such as my body or my energy.
Along with the experiences whether in my physical health or practices, I realized that only by slowing down my pace I can see as well as listen to my truth clearly. Besides, originally I implemented my truth in terms of the slogan “Only Yes Means Yes” and in fact, I practiced very well. However, now I am more aware of the truth is from my 5 Koshas going synchronously. Simply speaking, while I am acting in one action, my body, breath, mind, sensations, and wisdom/heart are supposed to act together. If I am aware there is one of them feeling not right, I should slow down and even pause for a moment, and then giving myself more time to perceive. Afterward, restart.